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lyrics
Since I was a kid, all I wanted to be
Was Santa Claus on Christmas Eve
Imagine all the joy, think of all the toys
And magic not to mention all the milk and cookies
But sadly it did not come true
Cause I’m a human just like you
Then when I was five I saw a movie that showed me a clue
Turns out all you have to do
If you wanna be Santa then you gotta kill Santa (Yeah yeah, yeah you do)
Once he’s breathed his last, just put on his pants (And his hat, that too)
Rudolph is indifferent and so is his wife
I mean he must get attacked like all of the time
So if you wanna bring cheer to one and all
You gotta kill Santa Claus
Now that I am grown, I haven’t seen my home
Since Santa first fell off my roof
I regret taking the reins, my life is constant pain
Now that I am enslaved by this puffball hat and bright red suit
So all I really want this year
I think it’s really very clear
I’ve been ol Saint Nick now since December 2002
I’ll tell you true
Please kill Santa so you become Santa (Take me, take me now)
Booby trap in the fireplace, candy cane to the face (I don’t care how)
I hate you Tim Allen you stole my life
The director of this film should serve prison time
But the Illuminati controls the universe’s magic laws
So if you kill him you become him, that’s the Santa clause
If I only knew! The curse I was accepting
Oh why, oh why, oh why did I put on the suit
Oh why, oh why, oh why did I put on the suit
credits
released November 25, 2022
Engineered, Mixed, Mastered, and Produced by Joey Maestas at Rock & Cactus Studios, St. Charles, MO
Jason Koch - guitar, vocals
Dan Kelley - bass, vocals, keys
Joey Maestas - drums
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